One Route, Twenty Stops, Zero Regrets: The Season I Skated My Way Down a British Bus Line
Photo: Steven Pisano from Brooklyn, NY, USA, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
The Stupid Idea That Turned Into a Season
It started the way most of my best decisions don't. I was sat on the number 14, board between my feet, watching the same shops crawl past I'd seen a thousand times, when I clocked a set of six perfectly waxed ledges outside a closed-down travel agent. I'd ridden this bus for two years. How had I never seen them?
The answer, obviously, is that I'd only ever seen the route from the window of a bus, at knee height, going the wrong speed. So I gave myself a challenge: ride the number 14 from the depot at one end to the hospital at the other, get off at every single stop, and skate whatever I could find within a five-minute wobble of the bus shelter. One season. Autumn into spring. Full drizzle rights reserved.
Twenty-three stops. Here's what I learned.
The First Rule: Lower Your Standards, Raise Your Fun
The biggest surprise wasn't the spots — it was how quickly my idea of a 'good spot' collapsed. By stop six I wasn't hunting for the perfect plaza. I was eyeing up a lumpy drop kerb outside a chemist with the same energy other people reserve for a newly poured bowl.
And honestly? That's the whole game. Most of us don't live near a proper skatepark, and half the ones we do have are either full of scooters or resurfaced with concrete that sets like Weetabix. But your bus route is packed with terrain. You just have to look at it sideways.
The greatest hits, by stop:
- Stop 3, The Retail Park Railings: Flat bar energy, zero security, a Costa window for moral support. The trick is going before 9am when the delivery lorries turn up and act like they own the place (they do).
- Stop 9, The Church Wall: A knee-high wall with coping so smooth I nearly proposed to it. Church wardens get a bad rep — this lot let us crack on as long as we didn't skate the actual steps. God bless.
- Stop 14, The Multi-Storey: The crown jewel. Top deck of the NCP, empty after 6pm, smooth as a fresh sheet of grip and with a natural bank formed by the exit ramp. If you know, you know. If you don't, check your local one's height barrier and clearance signs first — some have cameras with actual humans behind them.
- Stop 18, The School Railings: Classic. Skated at weekends and holidays only, obviously. Be the skater the school doesn't have to write a letter home about.
- Stop 21, The Car Park Pay Machine Kerb: A three-foot grind box gifted by the council, accidentally. Wax it, love it, move on before anyone asks questions.
The Weather Tax Is Real
Skating a full route across autumn and winter in Britain means you become a student of the sky. I developed a sixth sense for the difference between 'fine drizzle' and 'grip-ruining drizzle' (there is a difference, and it's about four minutes). I learned which stops had shelter worth waiting under and which had bus shelters designed by someone who hates teenagers.
Pro tip from the diaries: car parks are your winter friend. Covered levels mean dry ground when everything above is soup. Also, a cheap hand broom lives very happily in a backpack and turns a leaf-covered bank from a hip-breaking trap into an actual obstacle.
Security Guards: A Field Guide
Across twenty-three stops I encountered eleven security guards, two caretakers, one very confused traffic warden and a dog. The overwhelming majority were fine. The script is always the same:
- Be polite.
- Leave when asked.
- Don't go back the next day.
The guards who do kick off are almost always reacting to the last fifty people who gave them grief. Be the skater that resets the baseline. It costs nothing and buys goodwill for the next crew.
The Map at the End
I've drawn the whole thing up — every stop, every spot, what it skates like, when to go, and where the nearest shop is for a post-session Lucozade. It's not going in this article because spots get blown up fast enough without my help, but the print-and-fold version is doing the rounds at the local shop counter. Ask nicely.
Go Ride Your Own Route
Here's the actual point. The number 14 isn't special. Every bus route in every town in Britain has its own version of the church wall and the car park kerb. You've just never looked, because you've been staring at your phone or out the window at knee height.
Get a day rider. Get off at a stop you've never got off at. Skate the lumpy kerb. Fall over. Get the next bus home with a bruise and a story.
That's not a poor substitute for a real skate spot. That's what this whole thing has always been about.